She allowed herself to be led through an arch to our left (flanked by matching heptane statuaries depicting the fall of Troy.1 Their nametags read Netheril and Worther’s Butter Toffee since, one suspects, some things must be left in symbol.) Her lips dried perceptibly as her trembling hand fell perhaps inadvertently on his coaxially mounted 7.62 M240 Machine gun. This was not his primary armament, and she knew this. They had, after all, only just met.

As they danced about the base of the great staircase (counterclockwise and spiral) the couple cast bits of their secret conversation before the porcine dinner guests, who were beginning to enter the Hall in fashions both new and orderly, on their way to the dining rooms.


This gem landed at the feet of three blue-haired spinsters who took it as an indication that this dashing pair would soon be staring into the moonset and recounting their respective versions of “that time we.” The ladies held hands in the inoffensive and charming way of elderly lady friends and then kissed passionately in the purely offensive way reserved for sweating adolescents who find themselves suddenly free of parental supervision.

Good, and good for me. (at this the young lady blushed)

The sole witness to this fragment was Father Footwidth . Whether due to the comment, whispered, which reached his virginal ears, or the fact that he was unaccustomed to the blushing of beautiful women, the priest found himself at the mercy of his long suppressed hormones. He spent the half hour attempting to hide his obvious erection in a bowl of quarterham gravy. I was later informed by the wait staff that he continued to camouflage his manhood with subsequent food items until he was close enough to the exit to use it.

Are your crystals always this, well, you know, rhombohedral?

Rather than being offended by this rather off color reference to the molecular structure of his Italian influenced dinner carapace, Mr. Chaney simply danced more furiously, and the orchestra’s greatest efforts to overcome the melodic whine of his servomotors were in vain.

1 Troy was expertly depicted as a parking attendant whose heel was trapped on a bit of chewing gum and he was, indeed, falling.