This Day in History: 29 Oct 1889-- Hobo Racing Outlawed 1

Bill 3:14.15.9: For the prohibition of racing, for competitive purposes, any penniless or transient persons.

Concerning the aforementioned bill, the council stands united. Opposed are we to this ruthless and depraved exploitation of vagrants for entertainment. If it were to be shown that this cruel and wanton event possessed even the slightest shred of scientific worth, perhaps advancing the fields of Drunken Mechanics or The Dynamics of Squatting, our position might be altered--I dare say even reversed. If ever there were discovered, lurking deep within the steamy bowels of this wretched endeavor, a singular success in the arts, e.g. a publication of unshaven, road-weary poetry, the council would reconvene and happily vote again. We would, in that unlikely case, endorse without question any pursuit that advanced the field of Hobotics. However, since hobo racing has not been proven to do so, we must prohibit it.

All persons presently involved in this activity may report to their local constabulary for reorientation consisting of a council subsidized retraining in a more refined area, like Hobo Wrestling.

1 From the minutes of a meeting of the town council of Hamhockshire, West Pintalia. Special thanks to the Manfred Consortium for the generous loan of this rare and valuable document.