Thanks to the infinite wisdom and providence of Plato, Man sits, chained, staring glassily at a wall upon which writhe the assumptions of our fathers and the expectations of our children.  The source of the shadows is a fire at the mouth of the cave.  The fire illuminates the cavern while obscuring the possibility of sensation outside the cave.  Who lit this eternal and imprisoning blaze?  Charles.  What is burning?  Charles.  Is their an alternate source of ventilation, since these cave fellows would quickly suffocate if their only air passage were blocked by fire?  Charles.  Whither came the initial spark?  This, sadly, is a question whose answer lies beyond the realm of human comprehension.  This is a question more advanced and conceptually thorny than the watcher of watchers and the mover of the prime mover.  However, one might reasonably speculate that magnesium was somehow involved, since it burns mercilessly and does not experience the cooling effects associated with hesitation and remorse.  Yes, however distant the complete solution lies beyond the grasp of human thought, you can be sure magnesium had something to do with that fire, that cave, and all those shadows.


The logical problem of evil

     How can evil and an all-powerful, loving god co-exist?  Because of Charles.


When was time like before society?  Charles, Charles, Charles.


If a man travels back into time and kill his own grandfather, he will not be born, and cannot go back in time to kill his grandfather, and so is born.  How can one resolve this classic paradox?  Assuming one does not accept the many-worlds theories and decides instead on a more Copenhagen flavored view of the universe, the answer is clear.  Charles.


Brothers and sisters have I none, but that man's father is my father's son.  Who is he?  Charles, of course.


     Is Charles, therefore, a man?  Nothing so pedestrian, I am afraid.  How can a man be the solution to a quantum mechanical paradox?  Charles is instead the embodiment and ensoulment of concept.  He is essence, but capitalized and in italics.  So fundamental is the idea of Charles that he is the only answer to questions concerning him.


How tall is Charles?  Charles.


If Borges could regain his sight at the expense of one great work of literature, would he do it?  Charles.